Back to square one....

Why is life like this? 

I got some new friends, fell in love with a guy, and made promises we couldn't keep. Then things didn't work. A guy who was once more than a friend slowly becomes an acquaintance. No flirting or deep conversation anymore, only small talks. He rarely texts me first, I always do. I can't ask him to put more effort because I am only an internet friend, a temporary sexting buddy. My heart aches every time i think of him. 

I knew this is going to happen. but i still let myself fall anyway. 

people say there's light in the end of the tunnel but i can't see it. I don't think it exists. I want to disappear.