Hey......

I haven't written anything for months. A lot of things happened. I graduated from college with cumlaude. I moved back to my hometown. I got a job in a small English course. The payment sucks but i am glad that i am not jobless.

I am not gonna be a lecturer. I passed CPNS test as a teacher. I'll teach Junior high school students in a very small village. My mom is disappointed af. She always wants me to become an English lecturer. I disappoint her again. 

I met a guy online. He is the sweetest guy I've ever met. I tried to leave him because I didn't wanna feel too attached to him. He begged me not to go. He said it's okay to get too attached to him because he would never leave me. He didn't understand. I am afraid that I fall in love with him. I begin to like him so much. I know there's no chance for me because he is in love with someone else and we live in different countries. 

i know it's stupid. how can I fall in love with someone I met online? I've always been alone. No men cared about me so when there's a man who cares a little, I fall in love immediately. 

This feeling is torturing me. I am glad i met him but i also feel like i wanna die every time he talks about his girl. 

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha

i am really cursed, aren't I? God must hate me so much