I regret choices that i made.

I wanna teach in university. it's always been my dream. but chose a life time job as a junior high school teacher instead. 

I wanna live in a big city. but i'm here stuck in a small boring town.

I wanna live alone far away from my parents but i'm here living six feet away from them.

I should have killed myself last year but i stayed for some guy i met on the internet who eventually hurts me. 

Hi everyone...it's been few weeks since my last post. Last month i told Steven about all my feelings. I told him how disappointed i was when he stopped texting me. I know it wasn't a good time because his gf has just dumped his ass but i couldn't take it anymore. I needed to tell him in order to move on. He was so angry and told me leave him alone. We agreed not to talk to each other anymore. I felt great sense of relief. It felt like a heavy burden lifted off my shoulders. He became less and less important to me since then. i still check his profile on reddit once or twice in two weeks but I don't have any feelings towards him anymore. He can go fuck himself. 

I have two online friends now. Gee and Eric. my friendship with Gee is healthy and pure. He only think of me as his bsf and so do i. Gee is kind and patient. Too bad his gf sucks. he told her about his depression and she accussed him of being an attention seeker. what a bitch. Gee deserves so much better. 

Eric is a sweet guy. I think i'm the first girl that gives him so much attention. He texts me everyday cuz he is lonely. I wish he knew how smart and sweet he is. He just need to have more confidence. Few days ago i checked his profile and found a post about me. he asked people for advice because he thinks that he has feelings for me. Tbh, this is what i'm afraid of. somehow i feel like this is my fault. let's just hope that he meets a girl irl and forget his feelings towards me.

I'm turning 27 this year and i'm still single. loveless. I'm just empty shell of a woman.